THE STRANGEST THING IN ALL CREATION

the worst thing about being proud is the fear of getting your way in the end ... you know that your will is imperfect ... more that it's infected with a contempt for anything it can understand anything it masters ... the fear of becoming what the will wants drives the mind into seclusion and makes the will worse ... often now in a real fever it isn't what it wants it never is it must try harder ... but it can't have what it wants the mind knows because it has a wrong desire ... is fast becoming this wrong thing ... not what it wants but what it desires ... no real want no true lack it hasn't the form to want it ... who says you can't have push without the real pull to match it ... this will is no will at all ... it has no mind to form it ... it is desire though ... the strangest of all god's creation most injuriously susceptible to error most actively open to stumble suffering and pain ... a thing that wants not one real thing wants what it sees is nothing