GOOD DAYS AND BAD

I have a divided mind about my future because I have a divided mind about my nature ... to see if you're like me in this let's take an example on the extreme ... to see if we can get clear lines and bright colors ...serious illness maybe even terminal a process that has good days and bad is a rough example but it will do ... a good day sometimes with a shock we realize is what used to be normal ... or with a greater shock we recognize it still is ... it's this dying they say is so natural that's not normal at all ... it's the life of the mind and the spirit ... they're what make things natural ... pain suffering what makes them so bad is the knowledge we have that they're so wrong ... not a theoretical knowledge argued and rebutted nor as practical wise and determined but a knowledge before them both ... a knowledge before concept or the word to express it ... before breathing ... before a pulse ... a direction ... a tendency ... a disposition ... to life