THE COST OF CONFESSION, THE CAUSE OF PENANCE

I can't defend any of it ... whatever there is in it to be defended better not come to me because I can't do it ... I can explain it ... I can say why ... but I can't defend it ... I can describe it in such a way that you can see it had sides ... it wasn't the flat predictable form it seems to be now ... it was a substance and it moved on you and something in you went out to meet it ... and look together they made something new ... or so it seemed at the time ... but that time's gone ... I can't say why but it won't be repeated ... something in it of course from the start was defective ... it wasn't the logic ... step to step the argument was sound ... it was wrong from the start ... there was no place to stand before the first step ... all the time you thought you'd be rising ... all those steps up to the right conclusion you thought you were taking ... all that time you were losing time falling backwards into the past ... the conclusion is over and gone ... lost ... because it was wrong and I can't save it