it's a decision I obviously don't know how to make ... I tell myself to do this and the self does that ... and that's how I know this world doesn't work ... it's got a lot of beautiful stuff but it doesn't have that ... people tell me it's my fault ... they tell me to conform ... but to do that I'd have to stand on my head hereafter ... this world is upside down ... I think it's got to stop before we can get something better something right ... I think it will stop when all of us go ... I pity the tenants thereafter ... paul said he lost everything and that he didn't count it worth shit ... for everything's a waste that doesn't lead to the kingdom of god ... a loss that doesn't go that way ... now how do we leave here and get there ... you didn't think I'd tell you that that I'd be the one who could ... but I can tell you this that I picked up on some page in the room this morning ... it says there is no succession in god ... I take this as a disincentive to disappointment ... in god everything is simultaneous ... I take that as encouraging hope
paul johnson, jesus, ch 4, pp 84 + 86; kreeft, rpnt, 97: phil 3: 7-8; compendium 8
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