ABORTION (1)

my father is god almighty my brother is jesus christ my mother is the holy spirit st sophia ... how is it that I know these things ... how is it that I do not ... whose voice did I hear coming across the water in my mother's womb telling me to come out ... what reason can I give even now that I should have been there ... that I should be here ... what signs are there mathematical and precise to explain how I got there ... to tell me who I am ... what is this lump of matter that it should summon others to it to nourish and to grow ... whose name was I given that I should know when to respond ... what word has been spoken that I am the one to hear it ... what is it about all this stuff swirling cogently in space these clumps of interest that together they should sing ... and why should I alone be sent into the corner to weep ... to play at deaf blind and mute when everyone else is playing outside ... what punishment what penance and contrition consign me to this sorrow that by looking down I should pretend to see heaven ... that by closing my fist in front of my mouth I should deny my right to be born ... what world is this I have created ... my birthright has destroyed ... who am I forever that an orphan I am now