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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

FULIO'S LIST

this idea of talking through ... is it strong enough to buy me time ... I only mention it because of my friend fulio ... I suspect he postponed to death the big conversation he was meant to have before he died ... he knew his books wouldn't prevent his death ... he knew for example that they weren't always true some not even for the most part ... still they were good for delay ... he knew the thing about humanity was everyone in it being touched by the absolute and then being made to forget it or if remembering then to deny and he tried to do his bit for collective amnesia as well as most ... and so he read ... besides did he have any choice ... he hadn't the courage or the stamina to talk that way ... fulio was despite his learning maybe because of it a man of restricted capacity ... in any case who am I to convict him of a practice I follow myself ... so he delayed with the plausible excuse that he could not hear the word pure but must listen to it through filters ... and so he read ... he kept a punctual list of the books he read over the last decade of his life ... I have the list and look through it from time to time ... I must say he did more than delay ... he dallied ... and if truth be said trifled too ... especially early on ... it's only toward the end of the list the voice opens and whispers a shout

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