I can't say for others but I pick this one out in myself ... maybe some others will recognize it too ... though I never notice it in time to prevent it the signal moments of my pride are marked by ruthlessness ... not against myself mind you because I'm not at this point thinking of myself ... I'm thinking of what I want and just how no one is going to stop me getting it ... it's very simple very brutal ... the sophistications and they do come are never in this part of it ... they are rationalizations after the fact or prefabrications before it ... they say things like this person his will against mine I will put aside and they'll thank me for it later or others will in their stead ... or later when it didn't go well ... it never does ... I didn't mean it or at least not in that way ... the apology if it comes does nothing but extend the claim for truth in the original will ... the purity of which will pierce any heart ... the effect of which is to ruin all opposition ... the purpose of which despite the ostensible object is simply to be what it is ... my will ... my way ... why it's so determined so defined I wouldn't think but to admire it and to follow it
cf kreeft, back to virtue, pp97-107
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