ON THE LIST FOR THE CT

sometimes I lean back and see the good and bad sides inside me fighting it out ... I don't mean good and bad ideas ... I mean whole populations inside me ... some fighting for me and some against ... I know there's a sense I'm an important part of history ... and of the struggle between civilization and barbarity ... yes it's not an exclusive set ... it can almost be said of a blade of grass if you're speaking materially ... but I'm not ... nor do I have any personal standing in the world of ideas ... my citizenship there is very probationary ... I might be a digit in a long statistic in some book no one reads any more ... but none of this is so in the spiritual sense ... we can't all be heroes or rulers of state ... but every single one of us despite all the training we've received will not shake the nagging sense in which we are great and worthy of the struggle between good and evil itself ... a sense in which we too like truth are eternal ... not because of the clever things we've said or understood much too late ... nor for heroism ... but for the company we keep